Choosing Love Over Noise: I Miss #JennieBonita so much, my #love goes nowhere
Choosing Love Over Noise: I Miss Jennie so much, my love doesn't stop.
There are days when the world feels loud, too loud. People shouting for attention, people twisting stories, people trying to drag me into battles I never asked for whatsoever. And for a long time, I let myself get pulled into it. I fired back, defended myself, defended Jen, defended what we built. I thought I had to. I thought silence meant surrender, but it doesn't.
I miss Jennie every second, every minute, everyday.
It hits in waves, just simple memories, Missing someone you truly loved isn’t a weakness for others to take advantage of, it’s proof that what you had was real. And what we had was real in every sense of the word.
Jennie wasn’t perfect, and neither was I, but together we built a home filled with love. Not the kind of home you find on a map, the kind you feel in your chest. The kind that makes the world outside make no sense. The kind that stays with you long after the person is gone, you carry the longing for the rest of your life, you don't forget and you don't stop loving.
None of these people that have popped up on Jennies hacked FackBook accounts back in December, thy wasn't there in the quiet moments, wasn't there at all other than stalking or to cause us drama. None of them saw the way Jen looked at me and I looked at Jennie, and when Jen was tired, but still trying to smile. None of them heard the late-night conversations, the whispered plans, the stupid jokes that only made sense to us. None of them felt the warmth of her hand in mine.
They don’t get to rewrite that.
They don’t get to touch that.
They don’t get to take that away from Jennie or me ever!
Jennie taught me patience. Jen taught me how to stand tall even when everything around me felt like it was collapsing. And Jen taught me that love doesn’t disappear just because life gets cruel. It stays. It lingers. It becomes part of who you are.
So if you’re reading this expecting drama, you won’t find it here.
If you’re waiting for me to fire shots, you’ll be disappointed.
If you’re hoping I’ll break, you’ll be waiting a long time for a guy that's already broken.
Today isn’t about the outside noise.
Today and every day is about Jennie.
It’s about the woman who changed my life.
The woman who made me better.
The woman I'll be carrying in my heart for the rest of my days.
The woman whose absence still feels like a missing heartbeat with every breath that I take.
I miss Jennie so much. I miss the life we built. I miss the future we planned. And I’m allowed to say that without shame, without fear, without worrying about who’s watching or judging.
This post is for Jennie..
For the love that still guides me.
For the memories that still warm me, no matter who tries to shout over it.
And if anyone wants to twist that, let them.
I’m done fighting shadows.
I’m done giving energy to people who never deserved a second of my time.
I choose love today.
I choose Jennie everyday.
And I’ll keep choosing Jennie, quietly, proudly, and without apology.
If you're reading this, I wish healing too
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